Four years ago I would never have started a blog. I always thought of myself as “above” the blogosphere, xangasphere, twittersphere, whatever. But in the last couple years since I got serious about Jesus, I’ve been working on slowly letting him help me down that pedestal I put myself on for much of my life. It’s pretty lonely up there.
Ironically, the other part of it is that I always had a pretty big insecurity complex about blogging. In fact, feeling like I was “above” it all actually served as a mask for my hidden worries that my writing isn’t good enough, creative enough, or interesting enough for anyone to read. I’m not by any means over that, but spending time in counseling at Biola Counseling Center has helped me to see that sometimes these fears and insecurities are best faced head-on.
The biggest contribution, though, to my being able to express myself in a medium like this is God drawing me in the last few years into a true community of grace, people from all over who I trust and who let me be who I am. I’m not talking about this church or that church or this school or that school, or these friends or those friends, but really just people from all over who I really love and trust. And as awesome as you guys are, I think that’s about all I’ll write for a first post. I’m already starting to judge myself and freak out over this thing as it is.
- Ern [praying for integrity]
